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Whenever we do anything we’re aiming for a certain feeling at the end.

People light up cigarettes to get the feelings of maybe some temporary calmness. People buy expensive cars to feel more comfortable or unique. People might go for a walk to avoid the discomfort of carrying extra weight or for the feeling of fitness it may provide. Sometimes we aim for a good feeling at the end; at other times we’re trying to avoid an uncomfortable one. Even if you think about the very next action you’re going to take after reading this article it will be about doing something that makes you feel better or an attempt to avoid a negative feeling.

In other words, we have a tendency to move towards or away from things. Generally speaking, some of us are more prone to aim for what we do want, whilst others aim for what they don’t.

If you agree we have a tendency to chase feelings then you may also agree it would make good sense to discover the specific feelings you’re trying to chase. These specific feelings are sometimes called Ends Values. If you get more of your Ends Values met there is a good chance you’ll feel more fulfilled.

It’s a good idea to start with the big topics of life. Some examples of these include:

• Family

• Friends/Social Life

• Spirituality

• Health

• Career

• Education

Next ask the question, ‘What is most important?’ Here you simply make comparisons i.e. ‘What’s more important?’ Family or friends? If your answer was family you then compare family with the next one on the list and so on.

At the end of this process you will have a list illustrating what is most important for you. For example, it could read something like:

1. Health

2. Family

3. Career

4. Relationship

5. Spirituality

6. Friends

7. Education

Just by spending a few minutes performing this activity you’ll have an idea of what is most important for you. Going back to the example above, let’s say health was number one for you but you weren’t living that way. This could be a wake up call to spend a little more time looking after yourself. Maybe family was no.1 but you’re putting all your energy into work. It’s unlikely this is giving you much fulfilment.

The next step involves a little more work but is a worthy investment. As I said earlier people are chasing feelings, so wouldn’t it make sense to discover what those feelings were for you? We aren’t really chasing health, that’s just a word that means many things for many people; we’re actually chasing what health gives us. Some people are really after energy, some want to improve their looks, or as we age some us want to maintain mobility.

If we examine the area of career we’ll notice that there are many feelings people may be chasing:

• Independence

• Stimulation

• Acknowledgement

• Creativity

• Security

• Contribution /Serving Others

• Fun

• Part of a team

• Reward

This list is just a short example, there are many others that could be added, but just by looking at this list what is the prime feeling you are after from your career/work? Are you getting that feeling? Is there anything within your control that would help you to get it?

Remember if we get more of our ends values met we get more satisfaction so take some time to elicit your values and base your goals upon these values.